Why Can’t a Man Wash a Plate? Teniola Aladese Is Asking the Question Many Avoid

When Teniola Aladese asked, “Why can’t a man wash a plate?” it didn’t sound revolutionary. It sounded simple. Almost too simple. But sometimes the most ordinary questions expose the deepest social conditioning.

In many homes, especially across African societies, domestic work has quietly carried a gender label for generations. Cooking, cleaning, washing, tidying up , these responsibilities have long been assigned to women, not through written law, but through culture, repetition, and expectation. It is so normalized that when a man does the dishes, he is praised for “helping,” as though maintaining the home he lives in is optional for him.

That is the mindset Aladese is challenging.

Her comments sparked conversation because they touched a nerve. The modern woman is no longer confined to one space. She is building businesses, climbing corporate ladders, creating art, leading teams, and contributing financially to her household. Yet, after a long day of meetings, deadlines, traffic, and stress, many women return home to begin a “second shift” , unpaid, unrecognized, and often unshared domestic labor.

The imbalance is not always loud. It is subtle. It shows up in small expectations. Who automatically gets up to clear the table? Who is asked what’s for dinner? Who notices when the laundry basket is full? These invisible responsibilities accumulate, and over time, they shape relationship dynamics in ways that are rarely discussed openly.

Aladese’s statement is not about disrespecting tradition or attacking men. It is about redefining partnership. If two adults live in the same house, eat the same food, wear clean clothes, and enjoy a comfortable environment, why should one person be solely responsible for maintaining it? Shared responsibility is not a threat to masculinity. In fact, it reflects maturity, empathy, and emotional intelligence.

The pushback against conversations like this often stems from fear , fear that changing roles means losing identity. But growth does not erase identity; it refines it. Relationships today are not the same as they were fifty years ago. Economic realities have changed. Social expectations have shifted. Women are contributing in ways that demand balance at home as well.

When men participate fully in domestic life, something powerful happens. Resentment decreases. Appreciation increases. Children grow up seeing cooperation instead of hierarchy. Boys learn that cleaning is not a “woman’s job.” Girls learn that their value is not tied to silent sacrifice. Homes become partnerships instead of silent negotiations.

The reason Aladese’s question resonates so strongly is because it exposes how deeply rooted gender roles still are. It challenges the automatic assumptions we rarely examine. It forces us to confront why a basic life skill like washing a plate can still be controversial when performed by a man.

At its core, this conversation is not about dishes. It is about fairness. It is about recognizing that love and commitment are expressed not just in grand gestures, but in everyday responsibilities. It is about understanding that equality at home strengthens relationships rather than weakening them.